Anger and Forgiveness

A thought inspired by reading a friend's blog post.  But I didn't want to write the world's longest comment, so I thought I would re-post my thoughts here.

      I'm not sure if anger and forgiveness are mutually exclusive.  Being angry with someone doesn't have to mean that you are unwilling to forgive them, though sometimes that kind of anger can be resentment--the holding grudges kind of anger.  I once read a definition of resentment that I found terribly helpful and terribly convicting: resentment is the desire for revenge that you somehow feel that you are not able to take.  (Hence Nietzsche on resentment in Genealogy of Morals . . . oops, interject philosophy ramble!)  I do think believing in the justice of God and especially the final justice of God is important for resolving resentment and desire for revenge and deep anger.
     
     Sometimes other people crush us and there is nothing we can do about it because we just aren't strong enough to stop them.  That's not our fault.  It's also true that God just doesn't intervene every time (though sometimes) something goes wrong.  But he does promise that there will be ultimate justice and things will be put right in the end.  For me, the process of forgiving someone who has crushed me involves turning someone over to God in my heart--turning them over to him both for their judgment and their salvation because the cross both judges our sin and forgives it.  For me it has also involved seeing myself as a sinner as well who has also done wrong and also stands as one who has received a lot of mercy and grace from God, who has received my whole life from God.  So, if I know that I have received my life from God as a gracious gift, and that he has rescued me from my own brokenness, weakness, and my own sin (or that he has promised to rescue me) I also want to hope that he can do that for someone else who doesn't deserve it.

       Maybe one of the best but also one of the most repulsive doctrines of Christianity is the fact that Jesus really wants to save people who have done really bad things.  He wanted to save the people who murdered him and he wants to save the "bad guys" who hurt us.  And he wants to save us even when we are the bad guys.  And if we let him, he will.  But God wanted to save Cain as well as Abel, but Cain wouldn't repent.  I think the more we have suffered at the hands of other people the more this becomes real to us and we struggle to accept the cross.  I think, though, the only reason why the cross is ultimately palatable is because of the Resurrection.  If there weren't a Resurrection, the cross isn't good news.  And if there isn't healing for our hurts now, the gospel isn't good news.  But I do think God has shown us in his Word particularly and in good communities where his Word is faithfully lived and preached, that he does want to heal us.  Forgiveness comes from God in that he gives us healing and gives us Jesus and makes us truly able to forgive.  I think it is a mistake to treat forgiveness as if it were not a thing of mercy and grace and therefore a gift from God.

    Some people speak as if forgiveness were merely an action or an act from the will that one can obey because commanded to by God.  I don't believe that is true or helpful.  God also commands, "Love me with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength" and "Love your neighbor as yourself".  We are utterly unable to do those things without the help and transforming work of God, why would we be able to forgive without his help and transformation?